كلمات أريد أن أكون هو

Lies. All of it, lies I tell myself to project myself to the world.
Do I feel ashamed admitting myself to you? I think I’ll find the word
To place it in my final sentence to you and hit a stone on the road, misplaced by my inner self conflict
that pushed me to the thinner side of myself I don’t regularly show.
Instincts of survival disguised as hope.
I’m made to confuse you, just the way I work.
I lost hope here, but will regain it in a moment.
I simply ask you to bare with me as I,
Go through on this path that we call the “life”.
Just a few more moments. Bare with me, stay alive.
I am begging you, stay alive.
It’s funny, isn’t it?
This whole album’s a contradiction yet, it served it’s withered end.
What exactly did it end? It ended a version of myself I despised.
You know what else? It ended a version of myself I despised.
Emphasis was necessary, don’t ask me why.
I’ve wasted enough time, so to answer your “why?”
I said don’t ask, still I’ll answer it right.
I don’t know. I really don’t know.
But I do know that I wanna be “him”.
The one that’s fast and sharp on the pen.
The one that staggers, but does not flinch.
I owe it to him. I owe him this desire.
He’s the sole reason I have it in my iron,
Self built cage that’s my armor and this keeps it intact and in place, it’s my only keepsake.
Huh, bet I look weak in your eyes.
But I only feel weak when I hide this side.
I only feel weak when I’m not alive.
And trust me, I’ve never been more alive.
And to tell you this, only gains me strive.
“I lost hope here, but will regain it in-“ surprise.
This wasn’t just a line, I intently wrote this.
It’s the truest thing I’ve said in these choruses.
So how? Huh, Michael? How will you be “him”?
How will you conquer your demons and defeat them?
How will you follow your standards and believe in them?
How will you secure your goals and be peaceful?
You’ve done many wrongs. You will never, ever reach “you.”
You are gonna fall, and you are long overdue.
How will you change the course of this life you stirred?
To that, I only say it’s my story, I decide how it furls.