كلمات ما أشعر به

/Yeah, I’m up late again/
/Thinkin bout you, head layed on the bed/
/We’re hugging and that’s what I tell myself/
/At night, will this nightmare ever end?/
/I can’t answer something that I don’t know/
/What’s the point of it anyway, it’s you I don’t own/
/All that thinking reminded me of 4 years ago/
/When I just met you, who would have known how it goes/
/But I’m back here, where? Square one/
/Sit in defeat’s chair, I can’t run/
/Now I’m knee deep, with what? With the love/
/That I can’t reach but see from a far/
/And it’s drowning me, shit it’s no wonder/
/I’m not allowed to sleep cause how can I when I’m not/
/Allowed to breathe/
/Or survive a year/
/Let alone a week/
/Couple nights of sleep, can’t get that too I wonder…. Who’s proud of me?/

/All the work I put in this is not appreciated and that alone is traumatising/
/No one stands there shook or even claps their hands, I’m supposed to be okay with that? My fault, deny it/
/I appealed to the wrong crowd and I’m to blame for that/
/Not real? Then count me out, I don’t want no part in that/
/What I feel is that I’m lying dead in a trap/
/Set by me and others, there’s no escaping circumstance/

/What you do not know is that it’s not easy being a rapper/
/You’re conflicted between your thoughts and what really matters/
/Tired of acting strange to things that were supposed to matter/
/Everything went south so quickly, I don’t know what happened/

/It’s been going ever since, trying to set my mind at ease/
/You left a spot that can’t be filled, not by any means/
/Will I ever find you again? Searched in every piece/
/That you broke inside me. Can no longer tell what is real/
/Now, I’m just a shell of who I was, deeply sad ain’t it?/
/I don’t even know where you are. I hope you’re keep great at/
/Being someone else’s. Now this smile, I got to paint it/
/On my face again. So, they never know that I’m faking/
/Faking how I feel, faking how I feel, faking that I healed, faking that I’m here while my mind isn’t here/
/Yeah, faking that I feel, faking what I feel, faking that I’m here, faking that my mind is here/